Do It for Yourself

Surely, all of us want to be a better version of ourselves. We keep improving ourselves in anyways. In the middle of changing ourselves for becoming a better one, we hurt ourselves; we push ourselves too hard but we do not realize it. Do not realize that we are not changing ourselves to become a better one but ironically, we do hurt ourselves more in a stealthy way. Some of us, changing ourselves for ourselves. Some of us, changing ourselves for other people. It's a great thing if you change yourselves to improve your idea of yourself. BUT! It's not a good thing if you change yourself for others. Just to make a good impression on them. Believe me. There's no end of it.

Yeah, I know, even the reason is for ourselves, there's no end of it too. But at least, it does not hurt us because we do it for ourselves. Not somebody else.

We will never be enough in someone eyes, even if we do everything as they say. We will never be enough. Our standard and their standard are different. Every one of us has a different standard.

So, why do you have to change for them? 

Change yourself for you.

A better you, your idea of you, not someone else.

Stop Thinking, Start Doing.

I heard this word a lot, many times, from anyone.

I am a thinker, deep-thinker. I always thinking a lot before deciding on something. Does it a good thing? Yes, it is a good thing BUT if you do it appropriately. Not too much. Here I am, doing it excessively. Just think, think, and think. Walking on the same spot, too afraid moving forward. With help from my dearly friends, I started to do something, to do something in my life, at least once. To defeat my own fear.

At the beginning of the year, I promised myself that I will make this year my year. Doesn't mean that I will do a big thing, even I'm hoping for it. Haha. But I mean, I want to make difference in my life which I feel like I wasn't doing anything since I graduated 3 years ago from college. I did something in these past 3 years, of course. Yet, I still thinking about something that I wish I would do 3 years ago. It's not late, far from late. But, as I used to my comfort zone in these past 3 years, I feel the fear is creeping into me. I am so afraid to leave all of this, my family, my friends, and the lifestyle that I used to. On the other hand, my heart is whispering, slowly but often. These past 3 years, I have been struggling often to sleep early because of the voice inside my head. Therefore, I am trying to listen to that voice. I will not waste my time anymore to do something that against my conscience. I will try to follow it, perhaps it's really my call.

Good luck, myself! :)

Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.

Keep going. You are doing okay.

♥

I feel like.. going backwards?

I never had an interest in politic, government, or anything like that because yes, I was a passive citizen. I was being so pessimistic about the thing that happened in my country, not because I don't love my country. But because I am tired. Tired of everything that happened in this country. Now, it's different. I don't want to be a passive citizen and watch my country being crushed. Fyi, I used my rights for the first time back at 2014 and it was a presidential election. Tbh, I didn't like both of the candidates at that time. Okay, maybe because I literally didn't watch TV at all, especially about a politic. So, I used my rights just because I didn't want to waste it. I was being pessimistic at that time because I thought that it won't make any difference tho. However, since then, I gave my interest on politic, even just a little bit. I feel like, Indonesia has a hope. Hope to be a better country and a well-known country worldwide. That hope that I have is just a little dot. A dot that may be other people doesn't even realize about the existing of it. And now, that dot is growing bigger, bigger than before. I start to believe that my country isn't as bad as I used to think. The current president is bringing me a hope, that Indonesia still can make it.

Sadly, it changed. Lately, -well it's not because of the president thing, but yes, election thing- I feel that my dot which was getting bigger before, is becoming smaller, again. Believe it or not, the current affair that happened in my country is causing by Jakarta (capital city of Indonesia) Governor election.  Governor election! Please underline that. Not even the presidential election. Yea, it's a little bit dramatic (or a lot?) over here. I refuse to explain more about what is happening because of my initial reason when I decided to write this post just because I want to share with you about my opinion.
But if you're getting curious about what happened, you just can type "Jakarta Governor Election 2017". And voila! It will come out soooo many news about them.
When I watched the news, I was getting sad and emotional. Why? I mean like, okay people made mistakes, but please it doesn't mean the reason is because of their race or their religion. Race and religion don't determine if the people is a bad person or not. Character is. Can we try to change our way of thinking to become more rational? Judge people, yes, do as you please. But please, don't judge the race and religion. Judge people by their character, their behavior, and their way of thinking. Do as you please. Yeah I know, even the judge word is not good but people will still do that, isn't it? So, yeah.. you know it.
I will try to believe it again, I will try to make my dot gets bigger again. I'm still hoping tho. Hoping that people will finally realize that we're different, by our race, our religion, etc, but still we are Indonesians. We are. Wherever you go, especially if you're going abroad, despite religion that you believe, despite race background that you grew up with, you will still say, "I am from Indonesia, I'm Indonesian", doesn't it? I love my country, Indonesia. That's why I still give my trust in you.
Wishing that everything will be alright because God already prepared the best for all of us, Indonesians.
Good luck, Indonesia! :)